Failing Grade: The Souljah Boy Remix

I returned to anti flip mode and watched Souljah Boy Tellem aka Souljah Boy 's video for “Let Me Tell Em.”

The video opened with a public announcement of sorts about violence which I thought was a skit until the song started playing. Like Supaman, this song was accompanied with a dance, too; a sea of braided up teens posturing with invisible AK-47 and or assault rifle in hand. The symbolism was disturbing but the teens looked so happy doing their choreographed routine, that I dismissed the violent metaphors as being no worse than singing Bob Marley's "I Shot the Sheriff."

Then I watched his video “Yaaahh” where he complains about the duties of fame and cries that too many people want his autograph.

And in the popular double video format, a clip of his latest song “Report Card” came on and my jaw hit the floor.

The chorus plays off of Rich Boy's “Throw Some D's On It” aka “Throw Some D's On That Bitch”, an ode to rims and spinners. Kanye's infamous verse in the remix flipped the song into a now ironic ode to breast implants

But this kiddie version was different. Teen hearthrob Souljah Boy was flossing his disdain for school. He pleaded with teachers that they offset his straight F's with some D's.
The lyrics go something like this:

"Ayyyy Soulja Boy Chillin Dog I Just Got My Report Card Looked At It/ All F's Took It To Tha Teacher Desk(Throw Some D's On That Bitch)/ I Just Got My Report Card(Throw Some D's On That Bitch) Just Got My Report Card Ayy.

Throw Some D's On That Bitch is the chorus.

Cleverness aside, it is an all time low for how teen stars are marketed, jump kicks the malady of under-achievement to new heights and once again sends an anti-education message echoed all too frequently in urban communities. Souljah Boy ends the segment with a crooked smile meant to double as boyhood innocence, where he says he's just playing and that kids should stay in school.

How did this song make it off the school yard? What irresponsible adult, said "oh, yeah, let's push this song to the kids of America?"

Adult hip hop stars and their teams have explained irresponsible lyrics away by slapping warning labels on cds. They tell angry parents on panels across America that their music is written for adult ears only, arguing that if you raise your kids right, they'll resist the omnipresence of the airwaves and and won't buy the song in the first place The argument is chock full of holes, but at least they recognize the inappropriate nature of the song for kids.

But you can't use this rationale with Souljah Boy, a Georgia born teen who's colorful videos are shot in classrooms and school gymnasiums. His music is hardwired for teen ears and teen ears only.

I was disappointed.

For the past few years, I've taught weekend classes to teens and discovered that a number of them believed a grade of D was acceptable. Some students had invested in the dream deferred, believing that as long as they showed up to school, got a point above failing and did the absolute minimum to pass, they'd somehow stumble into a windfall of prosperity that would make up for everything they never learned. While they all wished for their own slice of the American pie, the link between academic excellence and a happy future was foggy at best.

So to now give these same misguided students a song to sing that justifies low expectation, crystallizes self defeating attitudes, and promotes a dire form of self sabotoge that jeopardizes their future is just plain unacceptable.

"Report Card" gets a failing grade.

The Brainwashing Resistance: I don't wanna like "Low"

I'm a channel flipper. A remote flicker.

And every time Flo Rida's "Low" comes on I switch the station.

I don't know why exactly. It's something about that catchy chorus that rubs me all wrong.

The lyrics go something like:

Shawty had them Apple Bottom Jeans [Jeans]/Boots with the fur [With the fur]/The whole club was lookin at her/She hit the flo [She hit the flo]/Next thing you know/Shawty got low low low low low low low low

Then I switch.

I fully enjoy the power to size up a song or music video in 8 seconds and switch before its pending wackness high jacks my brain and an incessant head bop tricks me into thinking its not so bad . . . when it is.

I change stations in my car like a speedracer changes lanes because I refuse to be beat over the head with bad music.

And playing it 750,000 times on every station every day isn't going to change my mind.

I won't be whipped into praying to the heavy rotation wack music god.

Then one day "Low" came on and I didn't switch. And when the song was over I didn't vomit. The hip hop gods didn't thump me over the head with my own copy of Beats Rhyme and Life and lightening didn't strike.

Thus the beginning of my foray into the anti flip, a stark departure from the brainwashing resistance.

I was growing tired of switching stations, annoyed that my high musical standards made it look like I had attention deficit disorder. I was weary of the switch.

So I made it official: I would learn to love something about the music I hate.

I don't hate everything. I'm not a neo hip hop hater, a new south basher, or the mad rapper.

But for every dirty club ditty that gets the blood flowing, there's another one that makes me want to climb a wall.

So its these songs (we all have THAT SONG) that I made myself watch and find some ounce of creativity in the sess pool of ridiculousness. Lucky for me, a whole string of em ran on one video station uninterrupted.

I watched Gucci Mane's "Icy"; Plies' "Shawty"; Sean King's "Take You There"; Flo Rida's "Low" followed by his latest "Elevator" as in "She's stuck on the elevator." I watched a whole slew of songs I usually flip from.

Then I started laughing. These artists weren't anti artistry, they just had a keen knack for making super silly songs.

It helps if you're in a club. The bass from the subwolfers overpower the senses, a drink or two blurrs the lyrics, and if you shake really fast you can whip yourself into a self induced frenzy and pretend you're dancing to something else.

But I was in my living room.

I just couldn't take this stuff seriously anymore. It didn't help that it was topped off by a hip hop commentary that included David Banner and Princess arguing over when you're too old to be "Lil" as in "Lil Wayne."

Rivetting.

My anti flip stance lasted for less than an hour and I flipped to CNN for a Wisconsin primary update. In addition to the anti flip, I'm currently weening myself from an addiction to political analysis and election results. Obama was in the lead, so I switched back.

Fortunately, Rihanna's "Don't Stop"; Janet Jackson's "Feedback " and Snoop's "Sensusual Seduction" came on reminding me that talent lives. Dem Franchize Boys followed it up with "Talkin Out Da Side of Ya Neck" which I quickly addicted as my dirty south get hyped song.

I took a break from music appreciation 101 and flipped back to CNN. Obama won. I caught his powerful speech which was as long as my anti flip hour. But It was a reality check.

There's more to change than flipping channels.

Political Pundits: Obama Confusion

Pundits suck.

Granted, I understand that this year's election is one of the most unpredictable races in history. But the rotating pundits who frequent CNN, MSNBC and FOX news are unusually confused when trying to explain Barack Obama's wins.

No alliances dubbed as predictors in the past seem to be relevant this year. If these talking heads can't break wins down along racial, gender, or economic lines, they're lost.

When Obama won in Louisiana, talking heads credited the black vote. They don't consider that in Louisiana, he had a smaller margin of victory compared to his big wins in Maine and Nebraska, a largely white electorate. But rather than analyze his wins in Maine and Nebraska, and analyzing his blue collar appeal, they choose to focus on Louisiana and credit the black vote for winning the election.

When Obama loses in the California primary they note that Latinos voted for Clinton 2 ro 1 and conclude that Obama's made no headway among blue collar whites. But when he wins in Nebraska, Maine, North Dakota, and Kansas, majority white states with blue collar populations, our expert pundits are mum. There's no analysis about his support in states where the ethnic populations are miniscule, no break down of blue or white collar whites or the much buzzed about young college crowd. In fact, they predict that Obama will do well in Maryland, D.C. and Virginia, again, because of the sizable black populations and upscale whites. But they speak as if no other demographics live in these areas, and if they do, they don't fit into Obama's demographic so they don't count.

The most obvious blunder, is the frequently referenced belief that all Latinos are voting for Hilary, in part due to the large support in California and Nevada. They ignore his Latino support in Illinois and New Mexico, preferring to paint Latinos as unanimously supporting Hilary. With Texas hailed as Clinton's omnimous firewall to Obama's rise, the assumption is that Latino voters will support her enmasse. No polls have been taken, and worse, no Latino pundits or experts are brought in until, the the night of Obama's Potomac primary sweep. The two Latino guests I caught while flipping stations are both from Texas. Both agree that the Latino Democratic vote is split by age in their state, with younger voters going for Obama and seniors largely advocating for Clinton. The news staffs are shocked. And when one young Latina guest notes that Latinos are not some homogeneous group, news staff are stunned again. And in a moment of enlightenment, one commentator notes that he made a shocking discovery: Twenty percent of the voters who voted in the last Texas primary are African American. As if to say, you mean black people live in Texas, too?

Finally, as the night wore on, pundits admitted that Obama seemed to outpace Clinton in all categories in the Potomac primary including white men, white women, African Americans, Latinos, and young voters.

But if they'd done this same analysis with other states he'd won like Georgia, Alabama, North Dakota, or Alaska, maybe the February sweep wouldn't have been such a stunner.