Lip Plumper - Shopping Tale of the Exploding Lips

I thought my favorite lipstick had been discontinued three years ago. So imagine my sheer glee when a Sax make up guy with an uncanny resemblance to Brad Pitt found a handful in the samples section. But like any woman who's about to spend an unusually high amount for a tube of gloss, I decided to survey the counter to make sure this was in fact the best bang for my buck. And that's when I ran across The Plumper.

"That's a plumper," Brad remarked, very bright eyed and bushy tailed as I surveyed the rival shimmery bronze. "It gives you full fantastic lips. It's so hot right now."

"What do you mean it gives you full fantastic lips?" Surely, Brad must have found something ironic about sharing the virtues of full lips to an African American woman, but he proceeded to explain anyway.

According to Brad, the plumper had ingredients that made your lips fuller, sexier, hotter to which I responded to myself "Yeah, right."

"Is that safe?" I asked Brad, recollections from killer beauty doc American the Beautiful still haunting me. He smiled that "I guess we'll know in ten years" kind of smile and I agreed.

But with one swab of the plumper, my lips started to tingle and burn, like I'd painted them with liquid Tic-Tacs and acetone. Brad said I'd get used to it and as I waited for the icy fire to a wane I looked in the mirror noticed this plumper had one heck of a gleam. Tingle aside, the plumper gave my favorite gloss a run for it's money in pure shine factor, and after having a bevy of sales guys do a cross cultural lipstick comparison, I said to heck with my discontinued favorite and bought the plumper.

Let me remind you, the plumper was not made for me, my family or any one totally unconcerned with lip size. The whole culture of collagen injected lips is stamped with a does not apply sign in my life world and affairs. So why buy the plumper? Well, I didn't expect it to work. I figured it was another cosmetic industry scheme like at home teeth whiteners or hair growth stimulators, some new product who's effectiveness is hard to measure.

Well, it took all of five minutes for me to walk from the across Michigan Ave. to my car before I realized this Plumper stuff was potent. My lips were ice cubes, stinging into numbness. It felt like the Black Hawks were playing ice hockey on my pucker. My heart started racing like I'd ran a marathon and I could feel the icy hot sheets formerly known as my lips expanding like glaciers. By the time I got to the car and checked the rearview mirror, I looked like a bee had stung me in the kisser. To which I said "I'm taking this crap off."

I ran back to Sax, testing the limits of the 15 minute parking breaks zone, found Brad and made a switcheroo before scrubbed that plumper crap off.

"Dude, that tingly feel never goes away," I said. "And my heart was pounding."

"Yeah, that's what the other customers say. Not everyone likes it"

"No kidding."

I did some reading on the phenomenon, and apparently the plumper is the rage in make up circles. There are a host of review and product sites. Some formulas use a traditional lip-plumping ingredient that stimulates collagen and boosts hydration. Others use ingredients that help retain moisture, which gives lips the appearance of being fuller. Some work, some don't.

But don't expect any more plumper updates from me. I'm done with the icy hot bee sting.

A Voters Headache: Terrorists, Bradley Effects and McCain's Defense

All these rumblings regarding Sen. Barack Obama and his mythical terrorist ties now have Sen. John McCain nervous. After launching a Republican lead smear campaign with Gov. Sarah Palin tying Obama to radicals and rumer mills falsifying a Obama Muslim upbringing, it appears that the nastiness of it all and the increased racially cloaked remarks from audiences at McCain affairs caused McCain to defend his opponent.

If Obama does win, McCain said, reassuring a voter, you have nothing to fear. "He's a decent man, a family man."

Gee, thanks.

I can't commend someone for taking an action they're supposed to take, but there is an irony in that the McCain campaign stoked these fears intensely over the past week and after some disturbing commentary with news cameras in attendance, had a change of heart and decided to back off.

I'm not sure if this was sincere or just another ploy to win voters. But I can say that the fear tactics are highly aggravating. And they're not working.

When people are worried about their retirement savings, keeping their jobs, and trying to figure out how to keep up with mortgage payments, they could care less about a connect the dots affiliation between a presidential candidate and a former radical.

Speaking of being annoyed, I'm also bothered with the new found media infatuation with the Bradley Effect, a phrase coined after the former L.A mayor was predicted to win as governor of California. Pollsters later found that many white Americans reported they would vote for Bradley but changed their minds in voting booths due to Bradley's race. Some argue that the Bradley effect could play a role in Obama's race and that his slim lead in the polls is not due say an upswing in Obama voters tired of the economic downturn, but rather a result of some indiscernable number of white voters lying to pollsters.

But the Bradley race was 20 years ago. While I get that their aren't many high level races with African American candidates to compare Obama's campaign, too, I think the analysis of the Bradley Effect is totally misleading and that the same elements aren't applicable in the Obama race. While a casual debate on the matter may be entertaining to some, there is no quantifiable data to substantiate or explain its relevance in this election.

Frankly, between these terrorist charges and Bradley effects fears, I've been highly annoyed by recent campaign tactics and coverage. Rehashing old news to fan fears is a strategy we were all familiar with in the primaries.

The real issue is the economy. Obama's position on the economy was strong before the current market flip flop and it's ironic that his knowledge on this matter may be the key to victory.

VP Debates- The Non Answer to Your Own Question

Expectations for Gov. Sarah Palin's debate performance were so low, that short of her collapsing on stage, she'd be applauded by her supporters.

Really, is she supposed to get points because she can pronounce Ahmadinejad?

However with debate strategy now topping the headlines, I too have a question.

When did not answering the question become a suitable debate strategy?

Palin was incredulous in her decision to answer what she wanted to answer and in some cases not addressing the question at all.

While one could possibly get away with changing the subject on a question or two, to design an entire game plan around avoiding the question and instead raising your own questions to answer is perplexing. Knowing how confusing her non answers would be she remarked and 'that she might not answer the questions the way Biden or the moderator may want her too but will speak directly to the American people.' Yeah, well, the moderator is there because the American people can't exactly get their questions answered by yelling at their flatscreen.

But in an attempt to take control, Palin decided to ask her own questions, which she didn't bother to answer either.

Furthermore, when did winking at the camera become acceptable in a debate format? Call me observant, but Gov. Palin winked at the camera at least three times. Coy flirtatiousness may work fabulously for actresses on Leno, but to inject the wink in a vice presidential debate is absurd.

Sen. Joe Biden proved himself to be knowledgeable, wise and passionate on foreign and domestic affairs. Some feared that his style might be too overbearing for Palin, another backhanded smack to the progress of women (implying a that a woman can debate a man 'aggressively.') However, Biden was incredibly diplomatic, flipped McCain's 'Maverick' monitor on it's head, and linked McCain's policies to President Bush's. Palin, oddly didn't rebut any of Biden's attacks on McCain, seeming to stick to tried and true info she'd memorized instead. She also made some very odd remarks regarding the expansion of the Vice President's role that were diametrically opposed to the U.S constitution.

I don't want to be a Palin basher. I would hope that despite differences in ideology, she would at least prove herself to be a capable leader on the world stage. I too am a woman. But while she may have guts and drive, that alone is not enough to lead our nation.

Don't Take My Debate TV

I thought my ears were deceiving me when I heard that John McCain aimed to cancel the presidential debate and suspend his campaign.

I flipped to WVON, caught a snippet and ran to my laptop to verify. There is was, confirmed on the New York Times website.

McCain wants out.

So much for those ballroom, bar and hall rentals. I have received more emails for debate parties and viewings in the past two weeks than I can count. News radio, tv and web banners are hyping the debate like it's a heavyweight champion fight.

I guess it is, well, if it happens.

Supposedly, McCain wants to take these precious two days to work on the economy. Wisely, Barack Obama stated that with just 40 days left until the leader of the free world takes the reigns, the American people deserve to know the candidates' views on the matter and wants the debate to go on.

The story goes that Obama initiated the call to McCain, suggesting that they make a joint statement regarding the economy. Six hours later, McCain jumped the gun and made his crash and rash announcement, taking Obama's good intentioned jesture a step further and recommended ending the debates.

It's this assumption that the American people are idiots that I take issue with. Obama's numbers are up, McCain has repeated frequently that the economy is his weak point, he's not the most intriguing speaker in the world and the haste to cancel the debate makes McCain look like he's running scaird.

There is no spin to make this action look lofty. Citizens deserve to see their presidential candidates debate during this unique time.

The debate should go on.

Economy Matters- Dumb it Down

With the economy being the talk of the town, I've found myself either talking to people who are de facto economy experts or explaining to people just what the heck is going on.

I've probably done a little more of the later than the former. In fact, I found myself in a circuitous explanation on the whole affair with my mom for like an hour. In my attempt to be as simple and thorough as possible, I realized that I had a hard time explaining it in part because the concept of a mortgage backed security doesn't really make any sense. How can you create an industry that people invest in backed by a debt bundle with no actual or liquid value? But that's another conversation.

At any rate, while watching political pundits on TV turned economic experts, I've discovered something else.

Explaining the mortgage backed security fiasco cannot be done in a sound-bite.

There's no condensing this stuff. Forget making the whole matter neat and easy for the common man. There are no winning sports analogy, no bare knuckle moose wrestling metaphors, and no patriotic slogans to explain this mess.

While I've heard a few commentators manage to at least de economize the language, I still hear people tossing in peanut gallery remarks that have nothing to do with the matter at all.

Politicians with any savvy know that if you can't say it in a soundbite, you might as well not say it at all. That's in part what's happening. People are trying to spoon feed an elephant. If you're talking to an audience who get skittish when explaining stocks, well you still owe them a hearty expression on the matter. Pull out some charts, make some graphics, anything but don't act like a few cowboy quips will put those who don't know at ease.

There are so many misguided catch phrases tossed around to sway the masses on the government Wall Street bail out blaming "overcompensated Wall Street CEOs" or "they're giving money to the people who got us in this mess and not the people who lost their homes." There's even a proposed march planned on Wall Street, which I don't understand either.

Oddly, Pat Buchanan was one of a handful of political pundits turned economist who explained the whole deal in a comprehensive three sentences. I was impressed. Barack Obama proposing that American citizens be viewed as investors and should benefit from the upside of their tax dollars in a bail out. A smartly worded statement as well.

While, the television medium is not typically the home for complex brain activity, when it comes to explaining the economy in this day and age, it has to be.

Family That Preys - The Return of the Smack

I saw The Family That Preys Together last night.

I won't review it. And I won't ruin the ending, but I do have a question which analyzes a scene, which implies the trajectory of one of the characters, which could be a spoiler, so read with caution.

That said, drum roll please . . .

Is there ever a justifiable reason for a man to smack a woman? Is the movie smack back?

Sanaa Lathan's character, a savvy corporate woman who loathes her blue collar husband (Rockmond Dunbar) is having an affair with her high profile boss. She makes some pretty heated comments, spewing some lines that no woman with any sense would ever say to a man without either a can of mace in her hand or her foot on a gas pedal, bags in the trunk, while pulling off on a drive way. At any rate, she makes these mind blowing revelations to her husband in front of the rest of the fam and POW, her mild manner husband smacks the beejeezes out of her and she goes flying over the counter. No one runs to her aid, no family tackles the husband. The next scene, her mom is icing her down and I believe the sister, played by Taraji Henson says something like "Wow, I never saw him that angry before."

I'm not saying her revelations weren't worthy of a smack. I'm not saying that the do good husband didn't have his reasons. I'm just saying I didn't exactly like the repercussionlessness of it all. Domestic violence is domestic violence, justifiable smack down or not. And I was uncomfortable with the fact that all is fair in love and war, including a heavy handed man knocking out a woman.

Before you answer, I have to refer to that comic genius Chris Rock who said no one is above a beat down, just don't do it. "There's a good reason to kick an old man down a flight of stairs," he said. "Just don't do it."

Back in the 30s flicks, women were smacked all the time. With the changing of the times, education on domestic violence, the justifiable man smack had disappeared from film imagery.

So while, the smack might move along the plot, I echo my comedic hero. "Just don't do it."

TKO - Economy sends lipstick gate packing

The economy trumps lipstickgate this week.

Thank goodness.

Despite my self imposed temporary exile from 24 hour cable political news viewing due to last week's Palin overdose and the global pig attack, I am still avidly listening to radio and of course reading. And it's great to see everyday people having hearty water cooler conversations about financial instruments and institutions and actually wrestling with some of the real causes of the overhauls in the market instead of being the ra ra squad for political propaganda football.

It's a thumbs up to the Democratic process that analysis of strategy for the moment has taken a back seat to the real issues that citizens of all walks of life are experiencing - issues that our presidential candidates should be addressing in the first place.

But Obama for the most part has been trying to divert the conversation back to the economy for some time now. But news outlets treated his speeches as a teaspoon of cod liver oil compared to the cotton candy antics of the Palin/'McCain camp (My inversion's intentional). He had to toss in some rogue small town metaphors about a pig to wedge his economic arguments back into the limelight. Too bad it took the sudden closing and sale of some of the nations oldest financial institutions for the economy to top the news line up.

That said, I think it's the problem solving aspect rather than the dooms day angle of the economy that concerned people should be engaging themselves in. To quote Melody Hobson of Ariel Capital who spoke on Al Sharpton's show earlier today, the worst is over and done with. Now it's time for the work.