I thought my favorite lipstick had been discontinued three years ago. So imagine my sheer glee when a Sax make up guy with an uncanny resemblance to Brad Pitt found a handful in the samples section. But like any woman who's about to spend an unusually high amount for a tube of gloss, I decided to survey the counter to make sure this was in fact the best bang for my buck. And that's when I ran across The Plumper.
"That's a plumper," Brad remarked, very bright eyed and bushy tailed as I surveyed the rival shimmery bronze. "It gives you full fantastic lips. It's so hot right now."
"What do you mean it gives you full fantastic lips?" Surely, Brad must have found something ironic about sharing the virtues of full lips to an African American woman, but he proceeded to explain anyway.
According to Brad, the plumper had ingredients that made your lips fuller, sexier, hotter to which I responded to myself "Yeah, right."
"Is that safe?" I asked Brad, recollections from killer beauty doc American the Beautiful still haunting me. He smiled that "I guess we'll know in ten years" kind of smile and I agreed.
But with one swab of the plumper, my lips started to tingle and burn, like I'd painted them with liquid Tic-Tacs and acetone. Brad said I'd get used to it and as I waited for the icy fire to a wane I looked in the mirror noticed this plumper had one heck of a gleam. Tingle aside, the plumper gave my favorite gloss a run for it's money in pure shine factor, and after having a bevy of sales guys do a cross cultural lipstick comparison, I said to heck with my discontinued favorite and bought the plumper.
Let me remind you, the plumper was not made for me, my family or any one totally unconcerned with lip size. The whole culture of collagen injected lips is stamped with a does not apply sign in my life world and affairs. So why buy the plumper? Well, I didn't expect it to work. I figured it was another cosmetic industry scheme like at home teeth whiteners or hair growth stimulators, some new product who's effectiveness is hard to measure.
Well, it took all of five minutes for me to walk from the across Michigan Ave. to my car before I realized this Plumper stuff was potent. My lips were ice cubes, stinging into numbness. It felt like the Black Hawks were playing ice hockey on my pucker. My heart started racing like I'd ran a marathon and I could feel the icy hot sheets formerly known as my lips expanding like glaciers. By the time I got to the car and checked the rearview mirror, I looked like a bee had stung me in the kisser. To which I said "I'm taking this crap off."
I ran back to Sax, testing the limits of the 15 minute parking breaks zone, found Brad and made a switcheroo before scrubbed that plumper crap off.
"Dude, that tingly feel never goes away," I said. "And my heart was pounding."
"Yeah, that's what the other customers say. Not everyone likes it"
"No kidding."
I did some reading on the phenomenon, and apparently the plumper is the rage in make up circles. There are a host of review and product sites. Some formulas use a traditional lip-plumping ingredient that stimulates collagen and boosts hydration. Others use ingredients that help retain moisture, which gives lips the appearance of being fuller. Some work, some don't.
But don't expect any more plumper updates from me. I'm done with the icy hot bee sting.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
A Voters Headache: Terrorists, Bradley Effects and McCain's Defense
All these rumblings regarding Sen. Barack Obama and his mythical terrorist ties now have Sen. John McCain nervous. After launching a Republican lead smear campaign with Gov. Sarah Palin tying Obama to radicals and rumer mills falsifying a Obama Muslim upbringing, it appears that the nastiness of it all and the increased racially cloaked remarks from audiences at McCain affairs caused McCain to defend his opponent.
If Obama does win, McCain said, reassuring a voter, you have nothing to fear. "He's a decent man, a family man."
Gee, thanks.
I can't commend someone for taking an action they're supposed to take, but there is an irony in that the McCain campaign stoked these fears intensely over the past week and after some disturbing commentary with news cameras in attendance, had a change of heart and decided to back off.
I'm not sure if this was sincere or just another ploy to win voters. But I can say that the fear tactics are highly aggravating. And they're not working.
When people are worried about their retirement savings, keeping their jobs, and trying to figure out how to keep up with mortgage payments, they could care less about a connect the dots affiliation between a presidential candidate and a former radical.
Speaking of being annoyed, I'm also bothered with the new found media infatuation with the Bradley Effect, a phrase coined after the former L.A mayor was predicted to win as governor of California. Pollsters later found that many white Americans reported they would vote for Bradley but changed their minds in voting booths due to Bradley's race. Some argue that the Bradley effect could play a role in Obama's race and that his slim lead in the polls is not due say an upswing in Obama voters tired of the economic downturn, but rather a result of some indiscernable number of white voters lying to pollsters.
But the Bradley race was 20 years ago. While I get that their aren't many high level races with African American candidates to compare Obama's campaign, too, I think the analysis of the Bradley Effect is totally misleading and that the same elements aren't applicable in the Obama race. While a casual debate on the matter may be entertaining to some, there is no quantifiable data to substantiate or explain its relevance in this election.
Frankly, between these terrorist charges and Bradley effects fears, I've been highly annoyed by recent campaign tactics and coverage. Rehashing old news to fan fears is a strategy we were all familiar with in the primaries.
The real issue is the economy. Obama's position on the economy was strong before the current market flip flop and it's ironic that his knowledge on this matter may be the key to victory.
If Obama does win, McCain said, reassuring a voter, you have nothing to fear. "He's a decent man, a family man."
Gee, thanks.
I can't commend someone for taking an action they're supposed to take, but there is an irony in that the McCain campaign stoked these fears intensely over the past week and after some disturbing commentary with news cameras in attendance, had a change of heart and decided to back off.
I'm not sure if this was sincere or just another ploy to win voters. But I can say that the fear tactics are highly aggravating. And they're not working.
When people are worried about their retirement savings, keeping their jobs, and trying to figure out how to keep up with mortgage payments, they could care less about a connect the dots affiliation between a presidential candidate and a former radical.
Speaking of being annoyed, I'm also bothered with the new found media infatuation with the Bradley Effect, a phrase coined after the former L.A mayor was predicted to win as governor of California. Pollsters later found that many white Americans reported they would vote for Bradley but changed their minds in voting booths due to Bradley's race. Some argue that the Bradley effect could play a role in Obama's race and that his slim lead in the polls is not due say an upswing in Obama voters tired of the economic downturn, but rather a result of some indiscernable number of white voters lying to pollsters.
But the Bradley race was 20 years ago. While I get that their aren't many high level races with African American candidates to compare Obama's campaign, too, I think the analysis of the Bradley Effect is totally misleading and that the same elements aren't applicable in the Obama race. While a casual debate on the matter may be entertaining to some, there is no quantifiable data to substantiate or explain its relevance in this election.
Frankly, between these terrorist charges and Bradley effects fears, I've been highly annoyed by recent campaign tactics and coverage. Rehashing old news to fan fears is a strategy we were all familiar with in the primaries.
The real issue is the economy. Obama's position on the economy was strong before the current market flip flop and it's ironic that his knowledge on this matter may be the key to victory.
Friday, October 3, 2008
VP Debates- The Non Answer to Your Own Question
Expectations for Gov. Sarah Palin's debate performance were so low, that short of her collapsing on stage, she'd be applauded by her supporters.
Really, is she supposed to get points because she can pronounce Ahmadinejad?
However with debate strategy now topping the headlines, I too have a question.
When did not answering the question become a suitable debate strategy?
Palin was incredulous in her decision to answer what she wanted to answer and in some cases not addressing the question at all.
While one could possibly get away with changing the subject on a question or two, to design an entire game plan around avoiding the question and instead raising your own questions to answer is perplexing. Knowing how confusing her non answers would be she remarked and 'that she might not answer the questions the way Biden or the moderator may want her too but will speak directly to the American people.' Yeah, well, the moderator is there because the American people can't exactly get their questions answered by yelling at their flatscreen.
But in an attempt to take control, Palin decided to ask her own questions, which she didn't bother to answer either.
Furthermore, when did winking at the camera become acceptable in a debate format? Call me observant, but Gov. Palin winked at the camera at least three times. Coy flirtatiousness may work fabulously for actresses on Leno, but to inject the wink in a vice presidential debate is absurd.
Sen. Joe Biden proved himself to be knowledgeable, wise and passionate on foreign and domestic affairs. Some feared that his style might be too overbearing for Palin, another backhanded smack to the progress of women (implying a that a woman can debate a man 'aggressively.') However, Biden was incredibly diplomatic, flipped McCain's 'Maverick' monitor on it's head, and linked McCain's policies to President Bush's. Palin, oddly didn't rebut any of Biden's attacks on McCain, seeming to stick to tried and true info she'd memorized instead. She also made some very odd remarks regarding the expansion of the Vice President's role that were diametrically opposed to the U.S constitution.
I don't want to be a Palin basher. I would hope that despite differences in ideology, she would at least prove herself to be a capable leader on the world stage. I too am a woman. But while she may have guts and drive, that alone is not enough to lead our nation.
Really, is she supposed to get points because she can pronounce Ahmadinejad?
However with debate strategy now topping the headlines, I too have a question.
When did not answering the question become a suitable debate strategy?
Palin was incredulous in her decision to answer what she wanted to answer and in some cases not addressing the question at all.
While one could possibly get away with changing the subject on a question or two, to design an entire game plan around avoiding the question and instead raising your own questions to answer is perplexing. Knowing how confusing her non answers would be she remarked and 'that she might not answer the questions the way Biden or the moderator may want her too but will speak directly to the American people.' Yeah, well, the moderator is there because the American people can't exactly get their questions answered by yelling at their flatscreen.
But in an attempt to take control, Palin decided to ask her own questions, which she didn't bother to answer either.
Furthermore, when did winking at the camera become acceptable in a debate format? Call me observant, but Gov. Palin winked at the camera at least three times. Coy flirtatiousness may work fabulously for actresses on Leno, but to inject the wink in a vice presidential debate is absurd.
Sen. Joe Biden proved himself to be knowledgeable, wise and passionate on foreign and domestic affairs. Some feared that his style might be too overbearing for Palin, another backhanded smack to the progress of women (implying a that a woman can debate a man 'aggressively.') However, Biden was incredibly diplomatic, flipped McCain's 'Maverick' monitor on it's head, and linked McCain's policies to President Bush's. Palin, oddly didn't rebut any of Biden's attacks on McCain, seeming to stick to tried and true info she'd memorized instead. She also made some very odd remarks regarding the expansion of the Vice President's role that were diametrically opposed to the U.S constitution.
I don't want to be a Palin basher. I would hope that despite differences in ideology, she would at least prove herself to be a capable leader on the world stage. I too am a woman. But while she may have guts and drive, that alone is not enough to lead our nation.
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